"End it Now" : Domestic Violence / Intimate Partner Violence Awareness Day Recap
Breaking the Silence: The Church’s Responsibility to Protect, Support, and Empower Survivors
On October 10th, our church focused on raising awareness about domestic violence and intimate partner violence (IPV), honoring the lives of women who have lost their lives to abuse, uplifting survivors, and acknowledging that men can also experience domestic violence. The program challenged the congregation to confront the reality of abuse within our communities, including within the church, where victims and survivors may remain silent because of fear, shame, biases and prejudices, or spiritual pressure.
Morning Program: Remembering Victims and Breaking the Silence
The morning program honored women whose lives were taken as a result of intimate partner violence, highlighting recent cases and reminding us of the devastating consequences of abuse. The discussion also addressed the experiences of men who are victims of domestic violence and the many reasons their cases may go unreported, including biases, embarrassment, fear of not being believed, and societal expectations surrounding masculinity.
Participants explored how intimate partner violence develops and manifests in relationships, emphasizing that abuse is not always physical. Emotional manipulation, intimidation, coercion, and controlling behaviors can also be forms of abuse. The program further acknowledged that domestic violence affects individuals and families across all communities, including within the church. Too often, victims remain silent because they fear judgment, blame, disbelief, or pressure to preserve their relationships at the expense of their safety.
Dr. Loretta Shields: A Call for the Church to Speak Up
Dr. Loretta Shields, delivered a powerful message about the consequences of misusing power, particularly when individuals who claim to know God use their positions, influence, or spiritual authority to harm others.
Her message was clear: Domestic violence is not love, and abuse must never be excused, minimized, or spiritualized away.
Drawing from Proverbs 31 and the story of Bathsheba, Dr. Shields challenged the church to fulfill its responsibility to “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves” and to pursue justice for those who are vulnerable and oppressed.
She emphasized that churches must become genuinely safe spaces where victims and survivors can share their experiences without fear of judgment, victim-blaming, or humiliating questions such as, “What were you wearing?” Rather than questioning a victim’s choices or placing responsibility on the person experiencing abuse, the church must listen, believe survivors, offer compassion, and help connect them with appropriate resources.
Afternoon Program: Understanding Domestic Violence Investigations/ Reasons Why It Is So Hard To Leave.
Lieutenant Carlos Chavez of the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) provided insight into the complexities of domestic violence investigations. He discussed different categories of incidents, including incidents, battery-related offenses, and felonies, along with the challenges law enforcement officers may encounter when documenting abuse, gathering evidence, and working with victims who may be hesitant or unable to cooperate.
His presentation also examined how high-profile cases, including those involving Nicole Brown Simpson and Rihanna and Chris Brown, have influenced public awareness and helped shape discussions surrounding domestic violence response and investigative procedures.
The session highlighted the importance of understanding the realities law enforcement officers face while recognizing that victims may have legitimate reasons for hesitating to report abuse or participate in an investigation. It reinforced the need for informed, compassionate responses that prioritize victim safety and recognize the complicated circumstances surrounding domestic violence.
Dr. Shields also explored the different forms of abuse, including physical, emotional, psychological, and technology-facilitated abuse and control. Through the stages-of-change model, she explained why leaving an abusive relationship can be a complex process and why victims may remain in or return to those relationships. Her presentation reinforced the importance of responding with patience, understanding, and support rather than criticism or condemnation.
The Church as a Safe Haven
A central message throughout the program was the responsibility of church members to become advocates, compassionate listeners, and sources of safety for victims and survivors.
Both presenters emphasized that prayer and spiritual support should never be used as substitutes for professional assistance, appropriate intervention, or safety planning. Faith communities can play an important role in healing, but they must not encourage victims to remain in dangerous situations or suggest that enduring abuse is a spiritual obligation.
The church must be willing to confront abuse honestly, hold perpetrators accountable, support survivors without judgment, and establish connections with qualified professionals and community resources.
Moving Forward: From Awareness to Action
Today’s program reminded us that raising awareness is only the beginning. Our responsibility extends beyond listening to presentations or acknowledging the problem. We must create environments where victims feel safe enough to speak, survivors are supported in their healing, and abuse is never hidden behind religious language, social expectations, or the desire to protect an institution’s reputation.
As a faith community, we are called to speak up for the vulnerable, challenge harmful attitudes, recognize the signs of abuse, and respond with compassion, wisdom, and action.
Domestic violence is not love. Silence is not protection. Faith should never be a weapon used to control or harm another person. The church must be a safe haven where truth is heard, dignity is protected, survivors are supported, and justice is pursued.
